2 years ago part 2
2 years ago today, the 14th, I went into labor the second time with the twins. In my personal journal at the time, I made an entry about how homesick I was. I was sitting in my room, all alone. Tony was at work, and as the evening nurse stuck her head in the door to say hi, I realized my back hurt more than it had been. Again, my hurting was just really achy. This was the only thing I could remember about my labor with Bella or the first time with the twins other than pressure.
So, the nurse hooked me up to the monitor and sure enough.........stronger contactions than previously. She paged Rick and he came in and checked me. I was definately dilating more. Over to L&D I went. I got back on the mag IV again (yuck) and layed there for the evening. The second evening, I was still contracting and dilating, and so Rick told me to call my parents and tell them to go ahead and start towards Dallas. We agreed to try to hold off until morning for them to get there. While I was on the phone, he called back into the room (he had decided to go home for a bit and get a few things.) and said he had thought of one last option. I told my parents to hold off leaving, and agreed to try it. He gave me Indocen. It is given for 3 days and tapered off during that time. It worked!
Amazingly, this was the time I lost it. The first time, I just somehow knew we would be able to stop labor. When it looked the second time like we wouldn't be able to, I was so scared. I kept crying and saying it was too soon. I felt so guilty, like I was already proving to be a bad mother because I couldn't keep the kids inside any longer.
On the 18th, I was moved back to the maternity floor. We all sat down and discussed our options. I asked things such as "Will this hurt the kids/how does it affect them?" He said that he would do the mag again, or at least try it, but odds were the next time would be it. He did repeatedly say we could refuse it, and talked about what we would do if I refused it. I didn't know if I could do mag a fourth time in my life.
I found out on the 18th that I was officially a gestational diabetic. I was started on insulin and a diabetic diet then. I proceeded to lose 8 of the 16lbs I had managed to gain during this pregnancy.
I spent the next 2 weeks dilated 3-4 cm. Rick and I had mutual nightmares of AJ having a prolapsed cord. I did my very best to spend what I knew to be my final days pregant enjoying every moment. I was incredibly homesick and felt incredibly isolated. No matter how much people visited or called, I just couldn't shake the alone feeling.
2 years ago today, I was terrified I might be meeting my babies any second.
So, the nurse hooked me up to the monitor and sure enough.........stronger contactions than previously. She paged Rick and he came in and checked me. I was definately dilating more. Over to L&D I went. I got back on the mag IV again (yuck) and layed there for the evening. The second evening, I was still contracting and dilating, and so Rick told me to call my parents and tell them to go ahead and start towards Dallas. We agreed to try to hold off until morning for them to get there. While I was on the phone, he called back into the room (he had decided to go home for a bit and get a few things.) and said he had thought of one last option. I told my parents to hold off leaving, and agreed to try it. He gave me Indocen. It is given for 3 days and tapered off during that time. It worked!
Amazingly, this was the time I lost it. The first time, I just somehow knew we would be able to stop labor. When it looked the second time like we wouldn't be able to, I was so scared. I kept crying and saying it was too soon. I felt so guilty, like I was already proving to be a bad mother because I couldn't keep the kids inside any longer.
On the 18th, I was moved back to the maternity floor. We all sat down and discussed our options. I asked things such as "Will this hurt the kids/how does it affect them?" He said that he would do the mag again, or at least try it, but odds were the next time would be it. He did repeatedly say we could refuse it, and talked about what we would do if I refused it. I didn't know if I could do mag a fourth time in my life.
I found out on the 18th that I was officially a gestational diabetic. I was started on insulin and a diabetic diet then. I proceeded to lose 8 of the 16lbs I had managed to gain during this pregnancy.
I spent the next 2 weeks dilated 3-4 cm. Rick and I had mutual nightmares of AJ having a prolapsed cord. I did my very best to spend what I knew to be my final days pregant enjoying every moment. I was incredibly homesick and felt incredibly isolated. No matter how much people visited or called, I just couldn't shake the alone feeling.
2 years ago today, I was terrified I might be meeting my babies any second.
posted by Amy at 11:51:00 PM
1 Comments:
I can't wait for you to post pictures after their party! You have come such a long way and should be very proud of yourself.
I hope your panic attacks get better.
I used to get them a lot.
Take care.
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